On Raising Kids

I have a foggy recollection that someone in the comments section of this blog once asked me how to raise kids. It was half a joke -- one of the many memes that was making the rounds of the blogosphere at the time. Be that as it may, I brushed aside the question then because I was not an expert on the topic. I still am not, but here and now, ten years later, I present one or two things I may have learned along the way. Talk about slow reflexes!

Don't raise your kids to be clones of yourself. It almost never works, unless your kid isn't terribly bright. And besides, why would you want a clone? Let's face it, you kinda suck. You want your kids to be different, and better, than you.

Treat your kids like adults, as long as they treat you like an adult.

Accept the fact that you stopped being cool a long time ago. Be proud of how lame you are and remember that it is not your job to be cool; it is your job to be responsible.

Give your kids the best start in life you possibly can, and then -- and this is the hardest part -- stand back and accept the fact that it is their race to win or lose.

Want to hear a good rant? Who doesn't?

I fucking watched Dune.

I do want to disclose that I read the book in my teens, and I liked it. 

Well...

There are things I did as a teenager I would not dream of doing today. I would be ashamed to. Liking Dune was one of them.

It is a shit story. 

To start with, it claims to be science fiction. This is false advertising. It is a soap opera set in space, circa 10,000 CE. Or bad historical fiction. Take your pick. 

Consider the plot. 

The main draw is a dude who traces his lineage back to Agamemnon. And he gets into a scrap with an Emperor whose name is Padishah Shaddam.

That, my friends, is Greeks versus Persians. Historical fiction masquerading as science fiction. This pile of trash as much science fiction as I am Puerto Rican.

The details also suck. As in, the story wants us to believe some really silly things. Like what the future will look like. 

If you follow the arc of human progress as this rubbish would have it, then you must uncritically believe the following.

In the last two thousand years, we went from dying of mosquito bites to having our phones order breakfast bagels for us. And then in the next eight thousand years, we perfected...sword-fighting? 

Yeah, pull the other one, guv'nor.

When you boil it down, the theme of the story is a white Mahdi (why not name him Lawrence?) leading a bunch of space Arabs, who are fighting an evil Persian/Turkic overlord.

Rating: UG -- Unimaginative Garbage