But not really.
Here's the deal. I lived through my teens in a Bahrain, a middle east oil mecca.
With perfect hindsight, there really is not too much to say about my life in Bahrain. The one word that jumps to mind is "comfortable" when I think of life there. It was a comfortable place, it was a comfortable life. It made you a little pampered, a little self-centered, and perhaps a little silly. But it was comfortable.
I went to India at the age of seventeen. It was a big transition. India is not kind to a self-centered silly bastard. It makes you grow up. Fast. In India, I first understood what loss of innocence means.
India is about the competition. Want that world-class education at the IIT? Yes, you and a million others. Have at it. Want to buy something as simple as a train ticket on a particular day? Get in line, fella, and I hope you brought the baccy 'cause this is gonna be a long day.
Something as simple as driving is a slugfest because the ratio of motorists to roads is heavily skewed in favor of the motorists. Honking is not considered impolite, it is an essential driving tactic. It's a way of saying, "Gimme back my road, you freak!"
Having money helps but what really counts is who you know. Those who have these things get along just peachy. The rest of us have to duke it out in the arena. But believe you me, the scratching and the clawing teaches you a few valuable things that you never forget.
But India teaches you more than to just compete something ferocious. In India, possibly for the first time in my life, I became aware of who I was. I got a sense of identity and a sense of how I was connected to others. I saw a rich and tolerant culture. I saw a vibrant people. I experienced it because I lived it (No my dear, short two-week visits won't cut it, you have to be there). I fell in love. And of course, sometimes I hated it, because there is a thin line between love and hate. You hate with the most virulence those that you love with the most vitality, yes?
I have seen a few places since. I have travelled. I suppose one can say that I have travelled far. But have I travelled well?
There is a word in Sanskrit, vaastu haara--the dispossessed, the unrooted, the rootless. I am a migrant, a vaastu haara.
Perhaps we all are to a degree.
Having money helps but what really counts is who you know. Those who have these things get along just peachy. The rest of us have to duke it out in the arena. But believe you me, the scratching and the clawing teaches you a few valuable things that you never forget.
But India teaches you more than to just compete something ferocious. In India, possibly for the first time in my life, I became aware of who I was. I got a sense of identity and a sense of how I was connected to others. I saw a rich and tolerant culture. I saw a vibrant people. I experienced it because I lived it (No my dear, short two-week visits won't cut it, you have to be there). I fell in love. And of course, sometimes I hated it, because there is a thin line between love and hate. You hate with the most virulence those that you love with the most vitality, yes?
I have seen a few places since. I have travelled. I suppose one can say that I have travelled far. But have I travelled well?
There is a word in Sanskrit, vaastu haara--the dispossessed, the unrooted, the rootless. I am a migrant, a vaastu haara.
Perhaps we all are to a degree.
4 comments:
Really enjoyed your article and your thoughts on Bahrain. I do agree that Bahrain does not make one "street smart" but does teaches one better values then the other place. It is the best of both worlds (east and west). As for life its hard for an expatriate (ask your Dad). Your thought as a teenager really do not value as much.The uncertainity does make one very insecure. As for becoming tough, life has its special way of teaching you that--what do you think???
Thanks for the comments. Much appreciated.
Have you ever heard the story of the six wise men and the elephant? If you have the time, here's the link to the poem that tells the story: Six Wise Men Of Hindustan. Pay special attention to the last verse if you decide to visit the link.
In case you choose to save yourself a few mouse clicks, the gist of the story is that six wise men, who were also incidentally blind, heard of this really strange beast that was being billed as the star attraction at the local zoo. People were calling it an "ay-lee-phant", they heard. Curious to study this wonderful new creature, they packed their lunches and headed off to the zoo. Once at the zoo, and totally in the spirit of science of course, each wise man started groping and feeling the elephant up, to study it. The catch is that they each felt a different part of the elephant and so formed wildly different opinions of what the creature was.
History does not record what the elephant thought of all this uninvited attention and touchie feelie business.
The moral of the story, to state the obvious, is that people often respond differently to the same thing or experience. When I spoke about my experience of Bahrain, I was referring only to my own experience; not my Dad's or anyone else's. And I am not suggesting that this is a general experience or takeaway message. How would I know how others experienced it?
I am quite sure that others have an experience different from mine -- in fact, I would be surprised if this wasn't the case.
About whether one place transmits better values to someone versus another -- well, it depends on your definition of "values", of course. I define a "value" as something revealing that one does in moments of urgency, in times of crisis, when faced with a challenging decision, under stress. This usually reveals a little something about the person and is most often indicative of a person's "values" and strength and how much respect they ultimately evoke in others, that sort of stuff. You are not what you *say*, you are what you *do*, yes?
In my humble opinion, values are not revealed in environments of silky-satin comfort -- environments that Bahrain specialized in providing (We would be kidding ourselves if we pretended otherwise). Once again, I hasten to add, different people will have different experiences. Your mileage may vary, as they say. I am not suggesting that people who grow up in a particular place grow up without values. Far from it. All I'm saying is that India afforded me personally (not anyone else) a greater opportunity to display whatever little "values" I have.
Cheers, and may whatever you call "god" keep you well.
Bahrain and India...hmmm. You were surprised that I remembered so much of life in Bahrain. I guess because those images still conjure up the concept of 'home'. Childhood memeories decide that for you. I know that if I were to go back to Bahrain today, I'd search out all the familiar spots, see if the Hotel Hilton was still there, how Zalakh beach had changed. And I'm sure I'd feel a sense of homecoming. 'Yeah, that's what you think' - did I hear you say? Could be right thinking, but I have a gut feeling about this.
Then we come to India. I hated it at first. Not avidly, or consciously, but with an indifferent dislike, not particularly sure why. It was everything, I guess. The uneven, pot-holed streets, the crowds, swarming and pervaded with the stink of perspiration - my schoolmates, who'd speak in Bengali of events which I didn't comprehend the utility of discussing anyway. My closest friends in school and college were non-bongs and expatriates- people from other states. I am NOT, and never was a snob, mind you. There were days and months I'd strive endlessly to connect, in any manner possible. But there always was a frequency mismatch.
And now I'm here in New Zealand, ...missing Calcutta. :-) Life is indeed strange. You've hit the nail on the head with that term - Vaastu Haara. This sense of being rootless is a unique feeling. And specially in a predominantly white country.
It's strange being a 'foreigner'- a term I only associated to every non-Indian looking person for 20 something years.
Speaking of values that Sam spoke of - how do you define 'better' values? What's the deciding factor between good and bad? India teaches you to survive. It teaches you to value and rely on your own sense of survival - if you choose to learn that lesson.
I see students here protesting against 'sweatshops and child labour in india'. These students think that such things are morally wrong. They sit in cafes and waterside restaurants, glugging down $50 a day, and think it's a crying shame that such things hapen in India, and they're the ones who're going to save us. Be our F*#@ing knights in shining armour. Because to them those are 'good' values. Help the *needy*, the *downtrodden*. Truth is, most of them have never been to India, don't understand the first thing about Indians (their general knowledge being limited to 'Butter chicken, Tandoori chicken and Roganjosh), and would be fleeced of every penny they have earned and 'will' earn in the future if they actually made that trip to India.
In India, the same values apply. The difference is that there are far more reasons to ignore such things. It's hard to be good and think of others when you find yourself below the poverty line alongwith 55% of the population and you're main worries are - Do I get to eat today or, if you're a woman - Will I get raped today, or tomorrow?
There are only a few true 'values'. Treacly things like 'I will not knowingly hurt someone', 'I will be considerate towards others', 'I will believe in myself, no matter what'. You can learn them well or you can screw them up, depending upon the instructions you get from the tiny voice in your head. Geographical location has nothing to do with it.
Sorry, geographical location DOES have something to do with it. To quote - If you have two bones and you give one to a dog, that's not charity. Charity's when you have one bone and you share it with the dog.
Indians have a better sense of values because often they give when they can't afford to. That shows true spirit.
Whew! Need some coffee-milo. My very own pick-me-up! :-)
Sougata Sarkar.. It's a small world.. This is Balajee.. email me - balajee@hotmail.com
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