Dadagiri, Indian-ishtyle

This seems old, but someone forwarded this link to me and it was surprisingly painful to watch: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/4972020/how_can_she_slap/

The facts of the case seem to be this: There is or was a show called Dadagiri on some no-name Indian cable channel. This show is the Indian version of Fear Factor, with a dash of Jerry Springer thrown in. (One might even say, a soupçon of Jerry Springer thrown in. I am tempted to use use classy words here, because this is a very classy show.)

The show takes four college kids and puts them up against three different kinds of bullies. If you survive all three, you get a pile of cash for your trouble. First, a big hairy guy gives them physical challenges. Then a nerdy type asks them geeky questions. Then a harpy in S&M gear, complete with whips and chains, steps in and as far as I can tell, her main job is to insult the contestants. So far, uh...so good?

In this episode, however, things don't go as planned.

After the first two challenges, the harpy, who is called Esha and is most certainly a pre-op transvestite, steps up and starts bad-mouthing the contestants. So far, all is going according to plan. But this is where things take a wrong turn. One of the contestants, who's clearly had enough of this unbelievably crappy mud-fight pretending to be a TV show, gets uppity and starts talking back. This, of course, is a serious deviation from the script and confuses the tranny very much. So he/she does the only logical thing under the circumstances.

She slaps the contestant.

Talk about going above and beyond the call of duty.

The contestant, clearly turned on by so much attention being heaped on him, slaps back viciously.

And then all hell breaks loose. The host of the show kicks things off by slamming into the contestant with some really classy suggestions involving contestant's mother and sister. The entire TV crew, and possibly half the guests at the show join in, manfully kicking the poor contestant who is now lying on the floor, bleating, "But how can she slap me?"

All in all, TV at its classiest. I am not quite sure whether to laugh or cry, so I cried a little.

Not to get philosophical here or draw parallels (I will anyway otherwise where is the fun), but my guess is that this incident on this TV show is simply a microcosm of what really happens in India. The hosts of that TV show are a metaphor for the powerful and well-connected. The contestant who got slapped is a stand-in for the unfortunate commoner who gets variously beaten up, robbed, raped, or killed by the powerful and well-connected with impunity. And the TV crew are the paid goons who do the dirty work of the powerful and well-connected when the commoner dares to react somehow.

And the law is a permanent absentee, as usual. In any civilized country, the show would have been off the air and the producer bankrupted with a lawsuit, but in India, my guess would be that life, for the producer and the show, has gone on.

Unless, of course, the whole thing was staged for effect and publicity, and has been secretly "leaked" to social media. In which case, how very clever of them!

But I do not think this is staged. I think this really happened, and this is indeed how the power equations work in India, as seen through the prism of a lousy unoriginal TV show.

So do you want to know how one gets powerful and well-connected in India? Well, I'll tell you anyway. Here is my observation from spending two decades in the country, during at least two important stages in my life, as a teenager and a young adult.
 
First off, you don't rock the boat.

Ever.

When you are younger, this means being a good little boy or girl and always listening to your parents. You eat what they tell you to eat, fuck who they tell you to fuck, and worship what they tell you to worship. This actually makes a lot of sense if the strategy is to get powerful and well-connected quickly, because after all, this is exactly what *your* parents did when *they* were younger and it worked out quite well for them. The alternative means taking risks, and risks carry the possibility of failure.

...I think there is a reason Indians don't eat cows. It could be construed as cannibalism.

As you grow older, one tack that people follow in *other* countries where rule of law and merit and stuff like that has any meaning, is that they work hard at something. Alas, this has some chance of succeeding in India, but not much. Ever wonder why the really bright people emigrate from India and suddenly seem to make it big in foreign countries? It is not an accident that this happens.

There are far quicker ways to make something of oneself in India. One way is to latch on to a scam of some sort. Scams are quite profitable and given the freewheeling nature of the land, quite risk-free in India. Sure, once in a while, you get too greedy and some journo or the other picks up on the story, but you know, journos can be bought. Or killed.

A second plan is to find another daddy-figure and since you've sorta outgrown your own daddy (a genuine Indian never outgrows their daddy and mommy, but let's not split hairs here), start sucking his cock instead.

This can be generalized into the following statement that must be followed in India if you have any chance of being counted among the successful and powerful: Never, ever, speak truth to power.

In civilized countries built on a meritocracy, speaking truth to power gets you admiration from all kinds of quarters. At worst, you get fired and find a new job. At best, you get promoted for your insight and guts. In India, that power that you are speaking truth to, destroys you.

Watch the clip again, folks. I'm telling you, there is a big lesson in there. Even bigger than Esha the Tranny's rigged tits.