Everybody, including our ever brain-dead government, has a formula for what will succeed in normalizing relations between our two countries. These formulae include, but are not limited to: (1) a bus tour to God Knows Where For God Knows Why, (2) Track II Diplomacy, (3) People to People Contact, (4) lighting candles along the Wagah border (don't laugh, this will help; we just need more candles) and (5) mobilizing a million men along the Pakistan border once in a while.
The last option in that list does not seem to scare Pakistan, but for some reason seems to scare the Americans. Who in turn, scare the Pakistanis. We live in a strange world.
Well, if everybody can have a formula, why can't I? I therefore declare, without further ado, that I have not one, but two prescriptions for normalizing relations between Pakistan and India. Both are unlikely to work, but are at least as practical as any that I have heard from anybody so far. The first, unfortunately, is rather costly in rupee terms because it involves nuclear weapons (those cost a ton of money), but the second, happily, is rather cheap to implement and involves every non-sterile Pakistani male above the age of eighteen and a blunt pair of garden scissors.
...mu ha ha...mu ha ha ha...mu ha ha ha ha...
Ahem...sorry.
I had a recent conversation with a guy at a party. This guy is a dumb fuck. And yes, he really said this.
I don't know what exactly education does or does not prevent you from doing, but here's something that education apparently does not prevent you from doing: It does not prevent you from making uneducated, ill-thought-out, and bone-stupid motherhood statements.
I wonder about people like this dumb fuck. It is quite possible that they are confusing literacy with education. Or maybe they entertain the hope that education will automatically lead to some sort of enlightenment. I have news for them. People more often tend to wrap their ideologies around their education rather than the other way around. Education is neither a necessary nor sufficient condition for the spiritual enlightenment of a bunch of bigoted people in ideological stasis. I present myself as an example--well educated AND with more prejudices than you can shake a middle finger at. But honest enough to know it.
Let us examine the link between literacy and ideology. Here is a short and very incomplete list of countries with literacy rates higher than India's: Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia, China, Libya. One immediately sees with searing clarity how literacy has deeply affected the above countries and softened their respective ideologies to the point of oatmeal mushiness.
I have a bunch of questions about of the link between education and ideology.
Was the Soviet Union uneducated? Did being educated prevent them from clinging on to an unsustainable ideology? Were the Nazis uneducated? Was World War II-era Japan uneducated? The British, who colonized and brutalized half the world...were they uneducated? The Americans who believed in Manifest Destiny, stole land and decimated native civilizations...were they uneducated? Did Francisco Pizzaro not know his letters? Was Hernando Cortez uneducated? Were all the Islamic invaders of India uneducated? Did Aleksandros The Macedonian, who carved a path of destruction across much of the Ancient World for no apparent reason other than dick-waving rights, lack a tutor?
The problem seems to be that they don't really teach enlightenment in college, do they? Nope, education is what you pay for, and education is what you get.
Pakistan, IMHO, needs reform. Education will follow. Actually, to be blunt about it, Islam needs reform. Pakistan will follow.
Just to explore this a little further, let us make a concession. Let us say that India will indeed benefit if Pakistan got a lot of education. What exactly will be the mode of delivering this education? Will India provide this? Will the United States provide this? Because Pakistan itself is certainly not showing much of an interest now, is it?
Aside: Do you think it is a flight of fancy to think that India will someday actually spend money on Pakistan's education? Here's one thing that I have learned in my years of being an Indian: Never, EVER, say never. If you think that India's attempting to educate Pakistan, much along the lines of the US trying to rebuild Iraq, is something that is unlikely to happen, think again. Ten years ago, I would have laughed my head off if someone told me that Indians would elect a lisping half-literate Italian immigrant to the highest office in the country, but who's laughing now?
Here is some added irony. From what I've seen, the same Indians who most believe that India can educate Pakistan and help it with its development, mysteriously enough have a tough time believing that the US can rebuild Iraq. Why this inconsistency?
Why the heck do some of us worry about Pakistan's development? We should be worrying about our own development, which is a significant problem in itself. If anything, we should be worrying about increasing the gap between our development and Pakistan's, not decreasing it.
Why do we live in denial like this? Is it more comforting this way? To believe that all that is needed for the species to collectively evolve into a non-violent non-predatory form is a little education? Or even a lot of education?
Well, if everybody can have a formula, why can't I? I therefore declare, without further ado, that I have not one, but two prescriptions for normalizing relations between Pakistan and India. Both are unlikely to work, but are at least as practical as any that I have heard from anybody so far. The first, unfortunately, is rather costly in rupee terms because it involves nuclear weapons (those cost a ton of money), but the second, happily, is rather cheap to implement and involves every non-sterile Pakistani male above the age of eighteen and a blunt pair of garden scissors.
...mu ha ha...mu ha ha ha...mu ha ha ha ha...
Ahem...sorry.
I had a recent conversation with a guy at a party. This guy is a dumb fuck. And yes, he really said this.
He: I believe that Pakistan must develop; this will actually benefit India. It will solve all the problems between us.
The Wise One, aka Me: What do you mean "develop"? Like develop economically? Will this guarantee that they will suddenly hug trees and beat swords into plowshares? What if they turn out like Saudi Arabia? Saudi Arabia has a per capita GDP four times higher than that of India. But they are still crazy.
He: No, by development, I mean educate them. That is what I call true development. Education will prevent them from being hostile to us and committing acts of violence against us.
I don't know what exactly education does or does not prevent you from doing, but here's something that education apparently does not prevent you from doing: It does not prevent you from making uneducated, ill-thought-out, and bone-stupid motherhood statements.
I wonder about people like this dumb fuck. It is quite possible that they are confusing literacy with education. Or maybe they entertain the hope that education will automatically lead to some sort of enlightenment. I have news for them. People more often tend to wrap their ideologies around their education rather than the other way around. Education is neither a necessary nor sufficient condition for the spiritual enlightenment of a bunch of bigoted people in ideological stasis. I present myself as an example--well educated AND with more prejudices than you can shake a middle finger at. But honest enough to know it.
Let us examine the link between literacy and ideology. Here is a short and very incomplete list of countries with literacy rates higher than India's: Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia, China, Libya. One immediately sees with searing clarity how literacy has deeply affected the above countries and softened their respective ideologies to the point of oatmeal mushiness.
I have a bunch of questions about of the link between education and ideology.
Was the Soviet Union uneducated? Did being educated prevent them from clinging on to an unsustainable ideology? Were the Nazis uneducated? Was World War II-era Japan uneducated? The British, who colonized and brutalized half the world...were they uneducated? The Americans who believed in Manifest Destiny, stole land and decimated native civilizations...were they uneducated? Did Francisco Pizzaro not know his letters? Was Hernando Cortez uneducated? Were all the Islamic invaders of India uneducated? Did Aleksandros The Macedonian, who carved a path of destruction across much of the Ancient World for no apparent reason other than dick-waving rights, lack a tutor?
The problem seems to be that they don't really teach enlightenment in college, do they? Nope, education is what you pay for, and education is what you get.
Pakistan, IMHO, needs reform. Education will follow. Actually, to be blunt about it, Islam needs reform. Pakistan will follow.
Just to explore this a little further, let us make a concession. Let us say that India will indeed benefit if Pakistan got a lot of education. What exactly will be the mode of delivering this education? Will India provide this? Will the United States provide this? Because Pakistan itself is certainly not showing much of an interest now, is it?
Aside: Do you think it is a flight of fancy to think that India will someday actually spend money on Pakistan's education? Here's one thing that I have learned in my years of being an Indian: Never, EVER, say never. If you think that India's attempting to educate Pakistan, much along the lines of the US trying to rebuild Iraq, is something that is unlikely to happen, think again. Ten years ago, I would have laughed my head off if someone told me that Indians would elect a lisping half-literate Italian immigrant to the highest office in the country, but who's laughing now?
Here is some added irony. From what I've seen, the same Indians who most believe that India can educate Pakistan and help it with its development, mysteriously enough have a tough time believing that the US can rebuild Iraq. Why this inconsistency?
Why the heck do some of us worry about Pakistan's development? We should be worrying about our own development, which is a significant problem in itself. If anything, we should be worrying about increasing the gap between our development and Pakistan's, not decreasing it.
Why do we live in denial like this? Is it more comforting this way? To believe that all that is needed for the species to collectively evolve into a non-violent non-predatory form is a little education? Or even a lot of education?
And am I being uncharitable when I call human beings violent and predatory? Don't shoot the messenger. Humans have themselves documented just how violent and predatory they are. Yes, there is a document! You will find this document in many places. You will find it in public libraries. You will find it in school classrooms. They even broadcast it on cable sometimes. I have heard that they call it "History".
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Who's Rita?
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