Let me get one thing out of the way first before I say the rest of this.

I am an atheist. I have no use for the god-belief. If a stranger approaches me and says, "I believe in God.", to me it sounds like he said, "I like gumballs." On an average day, those two facts, stated by a random person, create about the same number of ripples on the placid surface of my psyche.

"Really, that's interesting." I say, desperately trying not to yawn.

But some other days, I think about some of the statements made by the god-botherers. Statements that are, frankly, ridiculous.

In God we Trust.

Take that statement for instance. It's so popular, that it's on the fucking currency.

How can you trust God? God has a plan, and apparently no one knows what this plan is. How do you trust something you don't know? It's like saying, "I trust my ignorance." That sounds like something you would say after Clint Eastwood pistol-whipped your face with his .44 widowmaker and turned your brain into soft mush. Do you trust your ignorance? Well do ya, punk?

To know God's plan, you have to know his mind. What if he changes his plan? If you say that he cannot change his plan, then he is obviously not all-powerful. Hell, even I can change my plan.

Attend. Saying that God cannot do something removes free will from the very thing that supposedly gave you your own free will. Saying that God is compelled to do good runs up against a little philosophical problem called moral agency. Look it up.

Let me put it in terms that even the most feeble intellect can grasp. You do NOT know with certainty the mind of your own fucking spouse, who you have lived with for fifty years. Once in a while, she surprises you by running away with the pool-boy and half your cash. And you think you stand a chance of knowing the mind of an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent deity who gargles up universes at the drop of a hat? Wouldn't that make you a bit god-like yourself, you pathetic tosser?

OK, let's pretend that you know God's plan is good. Every day the sun is shining, birds are singing, and the Great British Baking Show is on the telly. And then, pow!, a fucking tsunami kills a bunch of dogs, moms and kids. Even if the overall plan is good, it is undeniable that the intermediate steps are fucking *terrible*.

Knowing what God will do next is like predicting the outcome of a coin toss. A coin toss is a random event. Saying that you trust God is like saying you trust that the coin will turn up heads the next time you flip that fucker. Only idiots say this, and even they wait to say this until they are high on something.

There is a colloquial word we use for random events: luck. When the outcome of a random event goes in your favor, you have good luck. When it goes against you, you have bad luck. God's next move is a random event to you. Hence it is indistinguishable from luck.

So the next time you are in your church or your temple or wherever the fuck Zoroastrians go to waste their time, just substitute the word "luck" for "God" in your stupid mumblings and prayers and the sentences you form will be equally sound.

"I trust God." is the same as saying, "I trust my luck."

"God will get me through the day." is the same as saying, "Luck will get me through the day."

"God will punish evil." is the same as saying, "Luck will punish evil." Actually why leave this last bit to luck? Why not get off your god-bothering ass and take care of evil yourself, the best you can?

Here endeth the sermon. Go in peace. And may luck be with you.